At What Point…
When is it time to finally “give up” on a relationship? When do you “shake the dust from your feet” and move on? What is the difference between forgiving and continuing to allow yourself to be hurt? These are the kinds of questions that I’ve heard from people ever since I decided to go into the people helping business. I’ve counseled hundreds of folks on just such questions.
And while it is one thing to sit down with someone else who is working through these issues, it is a whole different experience to be in the middle of those questions. When it is someone that you deeply love that is unwilling to change and unwilling to even accept that something that you say could possibly have some truth to it…the questions become more real and more difficult. Your heart and your brain begin to do battle. And the battlefields are the knots in your back, the upset stomach, the lack of sleep, and the continuing feeling that something just isn’t right in the world.
I keep telling myself — just because I love them doesn’t mean that I give up what is right and sacrifice my emotional health as well as risking the emotional health of my wife and kids. But that’s my brain talking…my heart continues to hold out hope despite the evidence otherwise. What do you do? Do you seer your heart and turn your back? Or do you fight for what is right while continuing to hope for the best?
I keep coming back to the overused question — WWJD? This is where the rubber meets the road when it comes to faith. What does “seeking first the Kingdom of God” mean in this situation? Is Jesus calling me to “give up father and mother” to follow him, or is he saying “forgive 70 times 7?” And does it have to be one or the other?
For now I just keep doing what I feel led to do…my prayer is that doing what is right — even though it isn’t always comfortable — will be a blessing even if it doesn’t seem like one.